Reel Stupid

This time I really think they are going to do it- defeat death that is.  And no one will ever have to suffer again…

It all starts when a spatula spontaneously generates on the race track.

To start off, we know this is going to be a highly realistic movie by the makeup of the NASCAR crowd.  I count about 12 hot chicks, and even more rare than hot chicks at NASCAR– 2 black guys!  And they are not even sitting next to each other so that means we can count them as two separate instances of of black people at NASCAR

Movie NASCAR fans

Real NASCAR fans

I think my favorite part of these movies is the Rube Golbergesque way that all these characters die.  It all starts with a simple rock, which gets chipped up in a lawnmower, which flies into a tree, which scares a squirell, who drops a nut, which falls on a bird, who craps on a gangster, who shoots an attractive main character.

Now, for some advice for the main characters.  If death is hunting you down,  please  don’t  take afternoon strolls through construction sites, cross the street without looking both ways, or try  to be a good Samaritan and fix that pesky  broken down  escalator at your local mall.   I would also recommend not going near anything that creates fire, has gears and/or features  sharp edges.   I just don’t understand why these people don’t comprehend this.  Did they not have paranoid mothers?

No problem here. Who hasn't wanted to stick their head out of the car during a car wash?

I do have a confession to make.  I actually liked the first Final Destination (and no it wasn’t just because of my boyhood crush on Devin Sawa).  It was a creative and different storyline and I liked it.  The issue is that after the 4th one, it becomes trite and comical.  And the 3D doesn’t help.  They should have stopped while they were aHEAD. MUHAHAHAHA

This is the only scene of Sean William Scott's career where he isn't the most annoying character on earth.

The Final recommendation (3D)  for this movie is to not see it.  Oh, and if you ever happen to be at a NASCAR race and have a vision of–  Wait.   Just don’t ever be at a NASCAR race….